oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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