isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
