Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
