We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
