I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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