I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
