Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Randomize
