Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
