We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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