I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
