I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
