Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
