She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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