we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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