I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I am mentally ready for anal.
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