He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
