You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
