im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize
