I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
