doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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