I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know đ
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think youâre losing coherence.
I am
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Iâd clean the kitchen before making food. Mark ârang in the New Yearâ with some rando in there last night
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