Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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