no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize