Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
