i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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