Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
