I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
