My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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