She's JV to your varsity
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
