we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
