Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize