I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
