it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
She announced her abortion via fbk
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
