Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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