is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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