I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
