But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
well you can't waste a boner
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
