You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
