So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I have feelings that need drinking.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
