Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
