If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Shame - the story of my life.
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