Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
