I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
