I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
