Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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