dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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