Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize