Hey man sorry I got all grabby
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
