We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
