3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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