He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
