Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize