Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
