none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
