That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
