How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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