I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
