Yo dont text me then not text me
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize
