Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
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